Loading

Dear reader,

It’s December 2022. Three days before Christmas. And a year and a half since my last post.

I’ve spent my evening decorating my basement into an amazing hang out for the new and old friend that we are welcoming into our home in a few days. I sat in my cozy new space watching Christmas movies crying about how good life has gotten.

I no longer live in the Midwest. My partner and I moved our lives to the South a year ago. Our son is almost 2 years old. He is a beautiful, loving, and KIND boy. He’s everything we dreamed of and more. We bought our new house in February after 5 months of living in an apartment, sleeping on the floor, and leaving almost all of our belongings in Ohio.

I fucking HATE my job, and I’m actively looking for something else, but I’ve received 3 promotions in the 2 years that I’ve worked for this company. I was traveling every two weeks with a 1-year old for 6-months straight! To say I’ve put blood, sweat and tears into this job would be an understatement. It has been a struggle, yet, while I was at work today I stopped…..I looked at myself, and thought about how put together I am at work. Then I stopped…and I thought about how much of an amazing, active mom I am. Do I have a drink every night before bed? Oh yeah. I’ve had some low-ass lows. The past 6-months have been low as fuck….but today is a good day.

You know what I can attribute it to?! Spirituality, and becoming a mom. In my last post, I said I clutched my crystals and manifested my home. Since then, I have dove deeper into spirituality. Both being spiritual, and being a mom have made me a better person. I have connected with the moon, the planets, and myself. I have someone to create a beautiful life for other than myself. I woke up today exponentially grateful for what I have and what I’m growing.

My partner and I are actively working to purchase a farm, and live off of the grid from the fucking wasteland that is this economy. I look forward to growing my own plants, nurturing myself and my family, and being a fully at-peace person. The girl that I was is so far from the girl that I am. Everything that I did, and everything that happened to me before now, has made me this person. My son made me this person. My best friend, and my partner made me this person. Most importantly, me finding myself and tuning into myself has made me the a better (maybe still not the best) version of myself.

I am the glue that keeps my family together. I lift up the people that work for me. Every person I interact with, I try my best to make their day better. I’m not the fuck up…I’m the fucking opposite. I clean up the messes now.

image

Reader……

Wow. Wow. Wowowowowowow. Thanks for hanging in there and watching Chels the fuck up stumble her way into happiness. I up-fucked my life right into my own fairytale just by being myself.

Let’s catch up: I am writing to you in November of 2020. I said 2020 would be the year for me and sure as shit it was! I am writing from my bathtub drawn with bubbles by my boyfriend. I’m in the bathroom of the HOUSE that he bought for us two months ago. The room is illuminated with candles that he lit to help me relax as my 6-month growing PREGNANT belly pops out of the water. You read all of that right. This isn’t a daydream, happily ever after does happen and I’m here to attest to it.

How the hell did I get here? I don’t know. Love? Believing that we could? We knew that we wanted to have children together so we did, and we wanted to give our baby a house to grow up in…so we did! We worked hard at our jobs, loved one another, and got through this year better than ever expected.

I know 2020 has been a train wreck of a year for the rest of the world, and I am forever grateful to be in the position that I’m in. I don’t talk about what’s happening in the world around me in my posts usually. It’s not that I have never cared, it’s just that a lot of current events didn’t effect me directly or I didn’t feel it needed to be added to my narrative. This year is different, and I truly hope to bring my child in to a better world than the one we are living in 2020.

Current events aside, I wanted to say something about speaking your happiness into existence. I said at the beginning of 2020 that this would be my year, I clutched my crystals laying in bed manifesting my life in this house, and we have it! I’m not sure what you believe in reader, but all I will say is; If you are going through a hard time and speaking on the negativity that you are living in, you’ll probably get stuck in it. If you project positivity and look towards your future and give people happiness, and kindness, you just might get exactly where you want to be.

There IS more to the story. We didn’t blink and manifest our dream life and *poof* here it is. Not EVERYTHING is sunshine and rainbows, and being in a happy loving relationship is not what makes me feel so whole. There is more to tell, but today…I’m really enjoying my fairytale.

queer-as-fuckkk:
“ 👭
”
valscrapbook:
“ http://www.staceyclarkstylist.com/
”